On the left is the general spread I created. On the right are the actual cards I pulled. Here is my self reading of these cards as applied to my own trauma:
1 – The Magician. You are safe here in the present. The Magician grounds you. Use the Magician’s tools and resources, including those installed during EMDR sessions, spell casting, and educational reading to meet your needs. You are SAFE and POWERFUL here in the present.
2 – VI The Lovers. Set this boundary. The Lovers reminds you that your relationship with self is your most precious asset to protect. Set the boundary that nothing threatens or intrudes upon your own safety and sacred space.
3 – XVI The Tower. Comfort and protect your trauma. Use discretion with what you share and with whom. Self-care and self-protection depend on one another so carve out your safe and sacred space with no guilt, shame, or apologies. Fill your sacred space confidently with yourself.
4 – IV The Emperor. Just as you had your mother, so your children have you, and their children will have them. Your power lies in the memories and treasures you pass down. Perspective casts the full shadow of truth. The social laws of today are forever evolving, but so slowly we cannot sense the change. Know it is happening and be at peace.
5 – II The High Priestess. Your best power tool in this moment, the High Priestess reminds you to use passivity and observation wisely and well. Passivity allows the unconscious to emerge. You have begun developing this trait and you should continue selecting passivity when it best serves you. Passivity leads to wisdom.
6 – Ace of Pentacles. Meditate and ground yourself in all these blessings. There is magick in the realness of these things. When we are ready, the Gate always opens to the truth. There is hope here, based not upon wishful thinking, but on the deepest of truths always rising to the surface – both in the material world and in the spiritual.
7 – Eight of Swords. Reject the inner critic thought of “confusion and questioning your very real experience”. You are not crazy or over-reacting. You absolutely have the power to set yourself free.
8 – Eight of Wands. Replace inner critic doubt with the thought: “Clarity is yours, not confusion. You have the power to take action whether to advance new ideas or to conclude old ones. You are a seeker and seer. Develop and embrace these gifts. Do not doubt them.”
9 – Seven of Swords. Allow yourself to grieve this: You tried to stand up for yourself and experienced brutal admonishment. Not once, but several times. You were not wrong, but you can grieve the absence of justice. Grieve the isolation, the lack of compassion and assistance, that you did not receive from so many. Your struggle is so sad because it was so unnecessary.
10 – Page of Pentacles. If you don’t need to be alone, reach out to this person: “a person who approaches any activity with the qualities of fascination, of involvement. Of caring less for rewards or social position than for the work itself.”
11 – Knight of Swords. Avoid these triggers: Fanaticism; Impulsive, combative activity/reactions; Extravagance, carelessness, excessiveness.
12 – Five of Cups. Reflect on what you’re flashing back to with this in mind: Struggle/Pain, Emotional reaction to loss, Sorrow but acceptance, Two cups still remain upright (could be support of a friend), Miscarriage of justice, Responsibility, Accepting injustice, Past to future is the only possible direction which = new beginnings, stability and continuity instead of a fall from grace or exile from paradise.
13 – 0 The Fool. Reflect on this reading with this card in order to love and accept yourself and your emotional flashbacks. They are a part of the cycle of healing. Keep your sense of adventure and develop it. Also keep and develop your sense of humor. The fool’s rose-colored glasses are actually necessary and useful throughout life, allowing us to take risks and dream big – again and again. It is important to cycle back to the fool, over and over. The fool is the bridge and transition and holds the key to the gates of life, builds the bridges, and lands the leaps. The animal and nature side of the fool is important to connect with and hear from Spirit. She carries her experiences behind her, not gone or forgotten, but they do not control her. Her spirit still soars. Her instinct fills and transforms all experience. While she has the power of her wand available, she does not need to use it. Fire and water are the way to transformation. The fire forges and burns but the water sets and cools.
Brightest Blessings Wild Ones!